


Facebook of the Future

by LadyByakko



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2012-12-30
Packaged: 2017-11-23 00:01:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/615846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyByakko/pseuds/LadyByakko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would it look like if the crew of the Enterprise had their own futuristic version of Facebook?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Facebook of the Future

**Author's Note:**

> This was written ages ago, I'm just posting it here for the first time. Un-beta'd, so if you see any errors feel free to let me know.
> 
>  
> 
> IMPORTANT NOTE: This fic is formatted like the old-school Facebook news feed. To understand what the heck is going on, please read from bottom to top.   
> I repeat: START READING FROM THE BOTTOM.

 

CHRISTOPHER PIKE is Oh dear god, what have I done?

 

PAVEL CHEKOV posted a new video.

 

CHRISTINE CHAPEL posted a new video.

 

HIKARU SULU posted a new video.

 

SAM “CUPCAKE” GREGORY posted a new video.

 

JAMES T. KIRK posted a new video.

 

MONTGOMERY SCOTT is Success!  The new still is up and running!  Who’s up for a drink tonight?

           SAM “CUPCAKE” GREGORY:  Thank god.

           JAMES T. KIRK:  I’m in!

           LEONARD MCCOY: I could use one after today.

           PAVEL CHEKOV:  Will there be vodka?

           HIKARU SULU:  Yes please, Scotty.

           NYOTA UHURA:  Sure, why not.  Usual spot in Engine Room 6?

           SCHIN T’GAI SPOCK:  I will be accompanying Nyota, but will not partake in any beverages.

           JAMES T. KIRK:  Come on, Spock!  You can’t come and not drink!

           GAILA SHETAR:  Actually, Scotty just made this amazing chocolate liqueur you’ll just love, Spock.

           SCHIN T’GAI SPOCK:  Perhaps I will try some.

 

SCHIN T’GAI SPOCK wrote on JAMES T. KIRK’s wall:

           Captain, hacking into my account is hardly appropriate behavior for a captain of Starfleet.

 

SCHIN T’GAI SPOCK is highly illogical.

 

SCHIN T’GAI SPOCK is finding the actions of the crew today highly illogical.

 

SAM “CUPCAKE” GREGORY is having one hell of a day.

            HIKARU SULU:  Tell me about it, man.  At least your nose is still intact.

 

PAVEL CHEKOV posted a new video.

           MONTGOMERY SCOTT:  Thanks for posting this, lad.  We can always use some laughs down here.

           GAILA SHETAR:  Oh, that’s classic!  What do you suppose that move Jim did at 1:45 is called?

            DANNY OLSEN:  I’m pretty sure it’s called a double-axle-spinning-jump-fall-on-your-ass.

            GAILA SHETAR:  At least we know McCoy can throw a good punch, even if he can’t aim.

            LEONARD MCCOY:  My aim is just fine!  Jim just moved at the last second.

           SAM “CUPCAKE” GREGORY:  If by “the last second” you mean “two minutes before you threw the punch”, then you’re right, he did.

           HIKARU SULU:  Doc, can you stop arguing for two seconds and help me reset my nose please?           

           LEONARD MCCOY:  Sorry, Sulu.

 

HIKARU SULU is Oh, sh--

 

SAM “CUPCAKE” GREGORY wrote on NYOTA UHURA’s wall:

           Taking the express lift and everything.  Tell Sulu to try and keep them off each other for a few minutes.

 

NYOTA UHURA wrote on SAM “CUPCAKE” GREGORY’s wall:

           I really hope you’re on your way up here.

 

LEONARD MCCOY wrote on JAMES T. KIRK’s wall:

           Alright, Jim.  You better get ready for one hell of an ass-kicking.

 

JAMES T. KIRK wrote on HIKARU SULU’s wall:

           Et tu, Sulu?

 

HIKARU SULU wrote on JAMES T. KIRK’s wall:

           Honestly, sir, past experience would suggest otherwise.

 

JAMES T. KIRK wrote on NYOTA UHURA’s wall:

           Psh, I can take ‘em.

 

NYOTA UHURA wrote on JAMES T. KIRK’s wall:

           You better be careful, Kirk, or you’re going to have Leonard AND Cupcake after you.

 

SAM “CUPCAKE” GREGORY wrote on JAMES T. KIRK’s wall:

           Watch it, Captain.

 

JAMES T. KIRK wrote on CHRISTINE CHAPEL’s wall:

           Oooo, told off by the boss.  Naughty, naughty.

 

LEONARD MCCOY wrote on CHRISTINE CHAPEL’s wall:

           Christine, stop talking to your boyfriend and focus on helping me sew up this ensign’s arm.

 

CHRISTINE CHAPEL wrote on SAM “CUPCAKE” GREGORY’s wall:

           No problem.  We still on for dinner later?

 

SAM “CUPCAKE” GREGORY wrote on CHRISTINE CHAPEL’s wall:

           Goddammit, not again.  Thanks for the heads up, Christine.

 

CHRISTINE CHAPEL wrote on SAM “CUPCAKE” GREGORY’s wall:

           You’re going to want to take a security team up to the bridge in about thirty minutes.  I think Doctor McCoy is going to try to kill the Captain

 

JAMES T. KIRK wrote on CHRISTINE CHAPEL’s wall:

           Chapel, tell Bonesy that he couldn’t take me on if he tried.

 

CHRISTINE CHAPEL wrote on JAMES T. KIRK’s wall:

           Captain, Doctor McCoy wanted me to say that if he wasn’t wrist deep in an engineer’s intestines right now, he’d kick your ass.

 

JAMES T. KIRK wrote on LEONARD MCCOY’s wall:

           Bonesy! Bonesy Bonesy Bonesy Bonesy Bonesy!

 

LEONARD MCCOY wrote on JAMES T. KIRK’s wall:

           I’m serious, Jim.  I will come up to the bridge and whoop your ass.

 

JAMES T. KIRK wrote on LEONARD MCCOY’s wall:

           Aw, c’mon Bonesy!  It’s all in good fun!

 

LEONARD MCCOY wrote on JAMES T. KIRK’s wall:

            Fine.  But if you call me “Bonesy” one more time, so help me Jim...

 

JAMES T. KIRK wrote on LEONARD MCCOY’s wall:

            Hey Bonesy!  We still on for dinner in the caf later?  It’s fried chicken night, your favorite!

 

LEONARD MCCOY wrote on JAMES T. KIRK’s wall:

           What do you think, Jim?  Working.

 

JAMES T. KIRK wrote on LEONARD MCCOY’s wall:

           Bonesy!  What are you up to today?


End file.
